Dating in 2020

It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone. I’ll be honest I had a rough few years and dating has been very low on the list of priorities. That being said I don’t actually want to spend my life alone (although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!) but I’ve always wanted a family of my own and yes, a partner. Dating has changed a LOT since I was last on the scene so I thought I would share some of my dating resolutions for enjoying it, getting the most out of your dating experiences and of course avoiding the dreaded ghosting…

1. Date for fun / I think it’s important to go into dating with a positive attitude, like anything if you put too much pressure on it then it doesn’t grow naturally and it won’t be a fun experience for you or the person you’re dating! I also think all relationships have to be grounded in friendship, if you don’t have that natural banter and chemistry and most importantly, trust, then it won’t last the distance anyway!
2. Be specific / That being said theres no harm in pinpointing what it is you are looking for. I think this is when specific dating sites really come into play. For example if you are really interested in dating someone with a specific hobby or life goal then you can use dating sites to filter out people who don’t align with your needs. You can also use sites that are specifically designed for you such as ones such as silver dating which is aimed at senior dating, LGBTQ dating or even ones that specify a love of Harry Potter (totally ok with this one!)
3. Make a list..then tear it up / Having specific hobbies or values that are important to you is one thing, specifying someones height/weight or eye colour is definitely another! No one can predict who they will fall in love with and it’s so important to get to know all different types of people so you can work out what you want from experience not from preconceived judgements. Plus lets be honest, no one ever finds someone who checks every box, because people aren’t a check list!
4. Take a break when you need too / dating can be exhausting and when the magic of getting ready for your first date goes it might be time to take a little break. Not every date will be great but every one should at least start with that intention! I think this is a good moment to take some time out and working on your friendships and social life, which will only benefit you when you get back into the dating game as you’ll have lots of fun stories to share!
5. Options aren’t everything / If you do end up meeting someone and you both feel it’s time to progress the relationship then it’s time to take a dating break. It’s tempting to stay on dating apps and keep yourself in the game but it’s important to know when you have a good thing. We have so many options available to us now that it can be a bit hard to just say, ok, this is enough but meeting someone special is just the beginning of an incredible adventure and that’s pretty darn exciting!

So those are 5 dating resolutions, I think they come from a place of old lad wisdom (sitting in my rocking chair at 33 writing this) but I have definitely learned a lot about myself and what’s important to me over the years and I think if you go into dating with that inner confidence in what you need and are open minded when it comes to meeting someone then you really can’t fail, if nothing else you’ll have some cracking first date stories to share with your coupled up friends!